INTRODUCING PROFESSOR P SCRUBBINGTON'S EMPORIUM OF CLEAN
Here at Professor P. Scrubbington's Emporium of Clean we specialise in creating personal care products specifically tailored to meet the needs of young people who want to take charge of their own ablutions (otherwise known as washing your bits). Careful study of the habits and hurdles involved has led me to devise the ultimate in soapy solutions: foams that stay on your hands and are easy to apply; dispensers that you can squeeze with one hand; natural ingredients that are effective and kind to your skin and the planet; fresh fragrances in place of the usual sugary scents. Which leaves only one question: what does the 'P' stand for? Alas, my mother named me for her late lamented pet poodle, Pongo, but inspired by the unfortunate appellation I determined to become the greatest inventor of wonderful washing products the world has ever known, and so my Emporium was born.
The Magic

Magically Foaming

A burst of fabulous foam lingers longer on a young person’s palm, where shower gel and shampoo will slip through their fingers. Workaday washing is transformed into fantastic foaming funtime, with better results all round

Easy Squeeze Bottle

It was during my descent from the Eiger that I broke an arm, necessitating that my Alpen ablutions be thenceforth one-handed. And so I developed my easy-squeeze bottle, which can be operated with a single sound appendage.

Natural With No Nasties

Ever since a group of well-informed young people dissuaded me from taking a dip in the Aral Sea, on account of its being a toxic soup of manmade molecules, I have followed their wise example and eschewed unnatural additives in formulating my concoctions. All my products are minimum 98% natural, and free of parabens and sodium laureth sulphate.

Odour Neutralising

An 8 year old aspiring marathon runner from Tanzania confided in me that even at his tender age, he could start to whiff a bit after a ten-mile dash round the Serengeti. I was instantaneously inspired to invent a magical niff-neutraliser to enhance the deodorant power of my natural odour-neutralising body wash.

Moisturising With A Fresh Fragrance

Rodeo riding in the heart of Texas, I first made the acquaintance of the wondrous – and extremely spiky – Aloe Vera plant, shortly after parting company with a bucking bronco named ‘Billy the Kid’. Aloe Vera’s gentle moisturising properties provided precisely the soothing balm my punctured posterior required, and it has since become a staple of my Emporium.

Good Deeds

I am thrilled to be supporting some of the vulnerable young persons that need our help through several children’s charities.

Magical Concoctions

Professor Scrubbington’s Magically Fragrant Deodorant

An 8 year old aspiring marathon runner from Kenya confided in me that even at his tender age, he could start to whiff a bit after a ten mile dash round the Serengeti. I resolved on my return to create a natural and gentle deodorant better suited to neutralising the niffs that can emanate from even a young person. Remember my friends, always scrub yourself.

  • Easy grip bottle
  • Roll-on application
  • Natural ingredients that are effective and kind to your skin and the planet (no alcohol or aluminium)
  • Fresh fragrance

Professor Scrubbington’s Magically Foaming Hand & Face Wash

Whilst dining in Rome, I observed a young person savouring a bowl of spaghetti, subjected to the horror of the mother’s spit moistened face wipe. I shot the young lady a sympathetic smile and resolved to banish the world of this barbarism. The result was my magically foaming hand and face wash made with moisturising, natural ingredients so you can scrub the bolognese off your own chops. Remember my friends, always scrub yourself.

  • Foam that stays on your hands and is easy to apply
  • Wider pump easier for smaller hands to press
  • Natural ingredients that are effective and kind to your skin and the planet (no parabens or SLS)
  • Fresh fragrance

Professor Scrubbington’s Magically Foaming Hair and Body Wash

Observing the jolly japes of young persons valeting cars in Detroit, I concluded foam lingers on the palm of a young person’s hand much longer than gel. The upshot was my magically foaming hair and body wash. A firm squeeze releases a lovely dollop of natural, moisturising foam that reaches the required grimy part, not the plughole. Remember my friends, always scrub yourself.

  • Foam that stays on your hands and is easy to apply
  • Dispenser that you can squeeze with one hand
  • Natural ingredients that are effective and kind to your skin and the planet (no parabens or SLS)
  • Fresh fragrance

Professor Scrubbington’s Magically Foaming Shampoo

Watching the remarkable dexterity of a young man from Rio in the World Yo-Yo Competition set my train of thought on gravity defying feats. The result was my magically foaming shampoo, a firm squeeze of which will linger on a downturned palm to reach the dizzy heights of any young person’s head, Brazilian or otherwise. Remember my friends, always scrub yourself.

  • Foam that stays on your hands and is easy to apply
  • Dispenser that you can squeeze with one hand
  • Natural ingredients that are effective and kind to your skin and the planet (no parabens or SLS)
  • Fresh fragrance

Professor Scrubbington’s Magically Foaming Conditioner

Scotland is where I encountered a young lady with the wildest, curliest head of red hair and a temperament to match, especially when her mother made any attempt to tame those tangled locks. One firm squeeze of my magically foaming conditioner had her smoothing her own mane and peace restored to the Highlands once again. Remember my friends, always scrub yourself.

  • Foam that stays on your hands and is easy to apply
  • Dispenser that you can squeeze with one hand
  • Natural ingredients that are effective and kind to your skin and the planet (no parabens or SLS)
  • Fresh fragrance

If you are interested in stocking products from my emporium, then please do let us know by kindly filling in your details below and we will be in touch forthwith.


Whole Foods Market

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Amazon.co.uk

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Waitrose

waitrose-logox2 Abergavenny, Admiral Park (Guernsey), Cambridge, Cheltenham, Comely Bank, Hitchin, Kenilworth, Lincoln, Newton Mearns, Oakgrove, Reading, Rohais (Guernsey), Rushden, Salisbury, Saltash, Sheffield, Southend, Swaffham, Walton-le-Dale, Willerby, Wolverhampton
  • Deoderant-High Res
    Professor Scrubbington’s Magically Fragrant Deodorant

    An 8 year old aspiring marathon runner from Tanzania confided in me that even at his tender age, he could start to whiff a bit after a ten-mile dash round the Serengeti. I decided to create a natural and gentle deodorant perfectly suited to neutralising nasty niffs.

    Remember my friends, scrubbliness is sublimeliness.

    • Easy grip bottle
    • Roll-on application
    • Natural ingredients that are effective and kind to your skin and the planet (no alcohol or aluminium)
    • Fresh fragrance
  • Hand & Face-High Res
    Professor Scrubbington’s Magically Foaming Hand & Face Wash

    Feasting with the Adi of Arunachal Pradesh, I looked up from my bowl of stewed rat to note the young people burying their faces in sweet mangoes, emerging plastered with sticky juice. I decided then and there to formulate a magically foaming hand and face wash made with moisturising, natural ingredients, perfect for cleaning sticky fingers and ratty chops.

    Remember my friends, scrubbliness is jubbliness!

    • Foam that stays on your hands and is easy to apply
    • Wider pump easier for smaller hands to press
    • Natural ingredients that are effective and kind to your skin and the planet (no parabens or SLS)
    • Fresh fragrance
  • Hair & Body-High Res
    Professor Scrubbington’s Magically Foaming Hair and Body Wash

    Exploring the vast expanse of Borneo’s majestic Niah Cave, I observed the domiciles of the Black-Nest Swiftlet, ingeniously fastened to the ceiling by foamy spit. Foam, I concluded, lingers longer on the palm than slippery gel. Thus was conceived my magically foaming hair and body wash. A firm squeeze dispenses a generous burst of natural, moisturising foam that reaches its grimy target rather than the plughole.

    Remember my friends, scrubbliness is superlative.

    • Foam that stays on your hands and is easy to apply
    • Dispenser that you can squeeze with one hand
    • Natural ingredients that are effective and kind to your skin and the planet (no parabens or SLS)
    • Fresh fragrance
  • Shampoo-High Res
    Professor Scrubbington’s Magically Foaming Shampoo

    Marvelling at the remarkable dexterity of a young man from Rio in the World Yo-Yo Competition, I determined that my products would share his gravity-defying feats. The result was my magically foaming shampoo, a delicious burst of which will stick to a young person’s palm whether up, down or round and round.

    Remember my friends, dirt is natural; scrubbliness… divine.

    • Foam that stays on your hands and is easy to apply
    • Dispensers that you can squeeze with one hand
    • Natural ingredients that are effective and kind to your skin and the planet (no parabens or SLS)
    • Fresh fragrance
  • Conditioner-High Res
    Professor Scrubbington’s Magically Foaming Conditioner

    Assisting a trainee lion-tamer in untangling the unruly mane of one of her animals, it occurred to me that she too could benefit from my magically foaming conditioner, enabling her to smooth her own unruly locks before tackling the tangled feline.

    Remember my friends, scrubbliness makes the world go round.

    • Foam that stays on your hands and is easy to apply
    • Dispensers that you can squeeze with one hand
    • Natural ingredients that are effective and kind to your skin and the planet (no parabens or SLS)
    • Fresh fragrance
Marvellous, Magical Foam
The mischievous antics of two young gentlemen cleaning their mother’s motor car in Detroit got me thinking that foam should lay at the heart of my emporium:

Gravity Defying

Foam stays on a smaller palm better than gel thus ensuring safer passage to the grimy parts prior to the plughole.

Exceedingly Efficient

Jolly clever people have discovered that washing with foam uses around two thirds less than a liquid soap as well as less water.

Small Hand Sized Packs

This enables the same number of washes to be contained in a smaller pack, easier for a smaller hand to hold.

Single Handed Squirting

Foaming pumps, whilst wonderful for hand washing, seem to necessitate the growth of a third hand when taken into the shower. My marvellous magical foamer requires only a single hand to squirt.

Fabulous Fun
 

Foam is inexplicably more fun than gel and can entice even the most accomplished soap dodging young person into the shower.

Marvellous missile

Most importantly, foam can be more easily thrown at a beloved younger sibling who may have strayed into the bathroom!

GET IN TOUCH
On a far flung island in the Pacific, I discovered the dirtiest creatures I had ever encountered. I persuaded them to return with me and join my Emporium where as well as providing the ultimate challenge on which to test my concoctions, they are also incredibly helpful to have around the place. Please do not hesitate to contact one of them should you require assistance.
DISCOVER MORE WONDERS OF MY EMPORIUM
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I can only share but a few select highlights of my wonderful adventures, amazing discoveries and inspiring encounters with young persons. But rest assured, I shall soon be returning with a head brimming full of ideas for more magical concoctions to add to my emporium. Do let me know how best to contact you (carrier pigeon, snail-mail or St Bernard?) and I'll keep you posted on my latest exploits.
CONTACT PROFESSOR SCRUBBINGTON
If you have any specific thoughts or comments you would like to share with me or have a burning question, I would be delighted to hear from you. Please pop your message and details in the boxes below and we will be in touch forthwith:




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